When Parents Can't Cut the Cord

If you were born anywhere between 1980 and 1999, you are a member of what sociologists like to call Generation Y. I happen to have a full membership to this generation, but unlike many in my cohort, I don't share many of the same titles that have been bestowed upon us; Trophy Kids, the 'Precious ones', and the 'coddled ones'. These titles are appropriately bestowed, let me tell you! There are some seriously self-righteous twenty and thirty-something year old's wandering around in this world, and after watching a documentary called Hyper Parents and Coddled Kids, I was able to understand where they all came from. Not only did it shed some light on why some of my friends were as messed up as they are, but it also gave me some insight into why I wasn't.

Growing up, I had one sibling, a younger brother. Though there was a six year difference between the two of us, we were extremely close. A series of events occurred in our lives, a divorce, several moves, and the roles changed. I took on a mother hen role, and my mother went back to school to get her forensic psychology degree and took on full time work. The entire family went from living, to surviving, and times were tough. As I moved up through my adolescence, the relationship between my mother and me changed drastically, and my younger brother was consistently showered in affection and accolades. I never thought it was misplaced when he was young, and I was a willing participant. But when I left home at 17 because of a damaged relationship between me and my mother, I realized that my brother could do no wrong even if he tried, and he had developed this sense of entitlement that I never did.

Much like the documentary I mentioned above, when my brother went off to university, my mother was so ridiculously involved in the entire process, I couldn't tell who was making the decisions about my brother's education, him or Mom! And over the course of  his education, he spoke with our mother two to three times a day, only went on vacation with Mom and the family, and never said a word when she arrived in the middle of his exam period! It was crazy.

The end result of all this coddling, is my brother is an overly-sensitive, arrogant, self-entitled young adult, who is incapable of handling rejection from  anyone. I may be coming across as a resentful, or jealous older sibling, but the truth is, I'm grateful that I was never coddled, and even more grateful that I had the sense to cut the cord when I felt it was necessary!