Child Obesity: Let's Get Real!

I recently read an article in Vogue about a Manhattan socialite who put her clinically obese 7 year old on a stringent diet, and even went as far as depriving her of dinner. The article came out a few days ago, and not only has Vogue been thrown under the bus for commissioning such an article, but Dara-Lynn Weiss has been painted with a pretty unflattering brush. Abusive, militant and self-righteous are just a few of the terms being tossed around to describe what many believe are a series of deplorable actions committed by a so-called loving mother. Even after reading the article several times over, I must admit, I'm still very much on the fence about what transpired.

Weiss's 7 year old daughter was declared as clinically obese by a doctor. At the tender age of 7, her daughter, at 4'4 was tipping the scales at 93lbs. Let's get a little perspective here. I'm 30, with a muscular and athletic build, and at 5'5, I am 118lbs on my heaviest day (113 on my lightest) This precious little girl is 25lbs lighter than me, a grown adult. Sure, we can talk about the weight of bones, and BMI, but the fact is, hers is absolutely off the charts and she is in the danger zone for diabetes, high blood pressure and any number of other terrifying afflictions. If I was a mother, I too would be absolutely panicking! But what happened here?

What I found the most disturbing is the way Ms Weiss handled the news. She engaged in public shaming of her little girl, and consistently belittled her for her weight gain, and this begs the question, who's the parent here? If we've determined that this little girl doesn't suffer from any pre-existing conditions, or genetic mutations, as a parent, are you not the one who is solely responsible for everything that goes in your child's mouth from the moment they're born? What business does a four year old have eating pizza, pop, or chocolate on a regular basis? None! Why is that junk even in your house or made available to them? Look it sounds extreme, but society has gone way of the Do-Do in that it's perfectly acceptable to indulge in treats on a regular basis, and if that wasn't enough, we actually tell ourselves that we deserve it. When I see a parent feeding their two year old McDonald's french fries, I want to walk up and swat the box right out of their hands, and then proceed to publicly shame them, not their children!

Really? We deserve to put processed foods and refined sugars into our bodies? Perhaps I missed the memo, but I'm all for living a long, prosperous and happy life, and if that means that I can't pig out on Mars Bars on the regular, I don't give a rat's patooty! (Yes, I made that word up, deal with it!). A seven year old is only just becoming aware of their body, and they are appropriately oblivious to the fact that society uses the cover of Cosmo to determine what their waistline should be. If your child is obese, the finger should be pointing in one direction, YOURS! You don't need to learn how to become a dietician to determine what to put in your child's mouth, but you do need to educate yourself. Stop blaming the outside world for your child's obesity, yes it's an epidemic, but it sure is hell doesn't give you the right to scoop up your membership to the fickle mob.

Living With Mental Illness in the Family

Mental illness is an issue that carries a horrendous stigma, and it is this stigma that prevents people from discussing the prevalence of mental illness in an open forum. The fact of the matter is, not only is mental illness a great deal more common than we would like to admit, but many of us may be suffering from a mental illness, and not even realize it. When there is a diagnosis of mental illness in the family, it is without question, the most difficult challenge a family can face as a unit, and effect s each member is a different way.

Both of my parents suffered from mental illness, but it was my father's diagnosis of manic depression that sent the family reeling. For years, my father, a dedicated military man, was unofficially diagnosed as a manic depressive when I was just 12. My parents had separated a year earlier and my brother and and I had flown out for our first summer alone with Dad. The moment we arrived, we knew something was not quite right. He was elated, giddy, almost childlike. He was running around the house like a madman, unable to concentrate on any one thing, and spoke a mile a minute. I can recall my father having these sorts of spells at specific times of year, usually around the holidays. We would come to find out later, that these were typical signs of a mental illness. And though these were symptoms that my father had exhibited before, it was never to this extent. Some mornings, he didn't seemed willing to get out of bed. It was as though he lost his lust for life for days at a time. It was difficult for a 12 year old and a 6 year old to understand why Dad was so different, and throughout our adolescence, his conditioned worsened, driving an immovable wedge between the three of us.

My father did not seek help until well into his illness, and because we were estranged, we didn't know how far gone our father's condition was. Because he was in the military, there was not only a societal stigma attached to being mentally ill, but being an active soldier, there was more of an incentive for my father to hide his  illness, rather than seek help to deal with it. Tragically, in June of 2009, my father lost his battle with mental illness, and took his own life.

Mental illness should be something that is discussed at almost every age level, starting with a chat about emotions. In the years that followed my father's death, if I had a better understanding of what my father was going through, I might have been able to cope with my fear, and reach out to him much sooner. You don't need a master's in psychology to gain a fundamental understanding on what mental illness is, but if there if you think someone in your family suffering from a mental illness, family counseling should be your first stop. It's important to start a dialogue within the family as soon as possible, and show a united support system to ensure the person with the illness feels emotionally safe amidst their loved ones. There is nothing more frightening for someone who is mentally ill, than seeing the fear in their loved ones eyes. Don't be fearful, be educated.