Families are such a complicated entity. Completely unique and dynamic individuals, living together under one roof, in some sort of harmony, can at times, feel like an impossible endeavor. And one of the most difficult and often
frustrating relationships, is that between siblings. I can't speak for myself on this matter, my brother and I were an exception. I was five when my brother was born, and I could not have been more excited to get a new little brother. And until I moved away from home after high school, we were partners in crime. Our mother always told us that
we were all we had, so being a big sister was an important job. Things changed dramatically as I moved through adulthood, but there was never a rivalry between the two of us. I never understood the need to compete, taunt or tease my best friend. But some of my friends in high school had vicious rivalries with their younger or older siblings. So what makes siblings fight?
Parents sometimes feel like they need a
psychology degree to deal with quarreling children. The conflict can run so deep. The good news is, it's fairly normal. There are several reasons why children will fight with each other, and the interesting thing is, the reasons don't change all that much as they mature into adulthood. One of most common reason for fights to spark is
jealousy. The arrival of a new addition to the family can create tension and territorial conflict between children. It is natural for the first born child to feel left out. They can feel confused, unloved and will sometimes lash out in frustration. Unless parents have experienced the sensation of being "replaced" by another sibling, they cannot understand how difficult it is for a child to accept that they are
not enough for their parents.
Another reason children fight is a territorial conflict. Fighting over space,
toys, or time with Mom or Dad. Again, this is completely natural. Fighting over time and space generally doesn't become too much of an issue until the younger sibling is
mobile. This is a touchy area. It is essential that toddlers learn how to share, especially with their family. But it is also important, that as they grow, and their needs change, they have a sense of ownership over objects, so they can learn how to treat things and space. Creating a fun and
unique space for each child is also a great way to dispel conflict, even if means giving them each a corner in a house or apartment, that's decorated just for them to allow them to express independence and self expression.
Families are such a complicated entity. Completely unique and dynamic individuals, living together under one roof, in some sort of harmony, can at times, feel like an impossible endeavor. And one of the most difficult and often frustrating relationships, is that between siblings. I can't speak for myself on this matter, my brother and I were an exception. I was five when my brother was born, and I could not have been more excited to get a new little brother. And until I moved away from home after high school, we were partners in crime. Our mother always told us that we were all we had, so being a big sister was an important job. Things changed dramatically as I moved through adulthood, but there was never a rivalry between the two of us. I never understood the need to compete, taunt or tease my best friend. But some of my friends in high school had vicious rivalries with their younger or older siblings. So what makes siblings fight? 
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